House of Gucci

 

Eh, so how you say “dysfunctional” in Italian?

It translates as something like “House of Gucci.” 

Although the Internet Movie Database classifies it as crime drama based on a book subtitled “A Sensational Story of Murder, Madness, Glamour and Greed,” you can't watch this Ridley Scott-directed romp without noticing that it's actually a comedy. Not slapstick or low-brow by any means – although Jared Leto's portrayal of idiot cousin Paolo is a one-man train wreck whenever he's on screen – but more of an operatic farce where everyone is dressed ridiculously over the top and speaks with a fractured Italian accent.

Lady Gaga picked up the best actress prize from the New York Film Critics Circle for her portrayal of Patrizia Reggiani, daughter of a truck driver who wins the heart of Maurizio Gucci (Adam Driver), marries him and manages to do more damage to the family's luxurious brand than a $29.99 rip-off handbag.

She's a gold digger, Maurizio's painfully patrician father Rudolfo (Jeremey Irons) warms his smitten son. Turns out, the family was capable of doing itself in before she even showed up. Being a crime drama you know it's not going to end well but part of the fun – and there's lots of fun watching the movie – is wondering, for whom?

The casting call must have specified previous Oscar history, nominations or better, just to be considered. All the stars look like they're enjoying the opportunity to dress up and chew all that luxurious scenery, from opulent Italian palazzi to Swiss ski chalets to Gucci's flagship Manhattan store on Fifth Avenue. Al Pacino is Rudolfo's more flamboyant brother, Aldo; he runs the New York operation. Salma Hayek is along as Patrizia's tarot-reading confidante, Pina Auriemma.

From watching Lady Gaga fly over the Superbowl halftime show, or match Julie Andrews' “Sound of Music” at the Oscars, or win her own musical Oscar for “A Star Is Born,” all the way up to CBS' recent Thanksgiving telecast of her concert with Tony Bennett for his swan song at Radio City Music Hall, the obvious question recurs: Is there anything this girl can't do?

Her drive is as great as her formidable talents, which is scary when you realize that describes Patrizia Reggiani, too. Patrizia isn't as gifted as the woman who plays her, but Gaga manages to work through a whole spectrum of emotions before she's through.

Although he gets overshadowed – more like blinded by her light – in the early part of the film, Adam Driver also leaves a lasting impression. With hair that's a work of art by itself, in oversize glasses and always impeccably tailored in a never-ending array of suits, he's a soon-to-be-lawyer when he first meets Patrizia at a party. He plays his role like Richard Gere, nonchalantly unaware of his ridiculously good looks, throwing in an earnestly gullible accent to add to the impression of a lamb being led to the slaughter by this wily woman.

In fact, their relationship looks a lot like true love in its early stages. Maurizio doesn't mind being disowned by his priggish papa to be with his bride, and finds himself truly happy for the first time washing trucks for his father-in-law, suddenly freed from the lock and chain of the Gucci logo. Unfortunately, his new wife wants nothing more than everything the Guccis represent, and is happy to start playing family members off one another as she goes for the gold. 

Paccino's Aldo is a fun-loving co-conspirator with her in the early stages, and more enjoyable to watch the more exasperated he gets. Unfortunately he suffers from the family curse: he's just not up to the job of being a Gucci.

From brigades of police ransacking the mansion checking for family tax records, to runway shows where Texan Tom Ford arrives to rescue the out-of-fashion Gucci brand, opulence Italian-style is fertile creative territory for all concerned.

I haven't seen HBO's dark satire series “Succession,” but imagine “House of Gucci” is a variation on the theme, only they speaka like this … 

It's also a variation on the line attributed to New Yorker writer and Algonquin Round Table wit Dorothy Parker: 

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at who He gives it to.